AAAAARRRRGGHH... My 94 Audi 90 is in a coma.....
#1
Guest
Posts: n/a
AAAAARRRRGGHH... My 94 Audi 90 is in a coma.....
Heeeelp!
Ok, so maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but my car is catatonic in my
driveway, not dead mind you, it's unconscious, or at least that's how it
feels. I just purchased the car through E-Bay (stop laughing in the back,
this is serious) three days ago. I live in a place called Oxnard in S-Cal
and I purchased it from a guy in Moreno Valley, that's about a 120 mile
drive. Other than the AC unit not working, the only problem I found was that
the interior lights didn't work and the auto gear selector was a bit
sluggish changing up or down in response to throttle or road input. All in
all though the car seems to be in good condition. Yesterday morning I get in
the car to start it up and nothing.... The ignition lights come on, the
battery is fully charged, but the there isn't the faintest noise from the
engine bay. nothing, nada, not a squeak. I checked all of the fuses and
nothing's blown. I checked the secondary relay panel and nothing seems to
have come loose. I just don't understand it, the car has power and all of
the ignition indicators light up but the engine is just dead. One little
thing might be a bit of a clue however. The gear selection indicator on the
dashboard is showing that the car is currently in (D)rive although the gear
selector leaver is in Park. If the car though it was in drive, then that
would be a reason as to why the car won't start. Any help on how I can fix
this problem would be massively appreciated.
Paul Bryant.
Ok, so maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but my car is catatonic in my
driveway, not dead mind you, it's unconscious, or at least that's how it
feels. I just purchased the car through E-Bay (stop laughing in the back,
this is serious) three days ago. I live in a place called Oxnard in S-Cal
and I purchased it from a guy in Moreno Valley, that's about a 120 mile
drive. Other than the AC unit not working, the only problem I found was that
the interior lights didn't work and the auto gear selector was a bit
sluggish changing up or down in response to throttle or road input. All in
all though the car seems to be in good condition. Yesterday morning I get in
the car to start it up and nothing.... The ignition lights come on, the
battery is fully charged, but the there isn't the faintest noise from the
engine bay. nothing, nada, not a squeak. I checked all of the fuses and
nothing's blown. I checked the secondary relay panel and nothing seems to
have come loose. I just don't understand it, the car has power and all of
the ignition indicators light up but the engine is just dead. One little
thing might be a bit of a clue however. The gear selection indicator on the
dashboard is showing that the car is currently in (D)rive although the gear
selector leaver is in Park. If the car though it was in drive, then that
would be a reason as to why the car won't start. Any help on how I can fix
this problem would be massively appreciated.
Paul Bryant.
#2
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: AAAAARRRRGGHH... My 94 Audi 90 is in a coma.....
"Paul Bryant" <Paul_bb@adelphia.net> wrote in message
newsP4bb.2255$YO5.1756099@news3.news.adelphia.ne t...
> Heeeelp!
>
> Ok, so maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but my car is catatonic in my
> driveway, not dead mind you, it's unconscious, or at least that's how it
> feels. I just purchased the car through E-Bay (stop laughing in the back,
> this is serious) three days ago. I live in a place called Oxnard in S-Cal
> and I purchased it from a guy in Moreno Valley, that's about a 120 mile
> drive. Other than the AC unit not working, the only problem I found was
that
> the interior lights didn't work and the auto gear selector was a bit
> sluggish changing up or down in response to throttle or road input. All in
> all though the car seems to be in good condition. Yesterday morning I get
in
> the car to start it up and nothing.... The ignition lights come on, the
> battery is fully charged, but the there isn't the faintest noise from the
> engine bay. nothing, nada, not a squeak. I checked all of the fuses and
> nothing's blown. I checked the secondary relay panel and nothing seems to
> have come loose. I just don't understand it, the car has power and all of
> the ignition indicators light up but the engine is just dead. One little
> thing might be a bit of a clue however. The gear selection indicator on
the
> dashboard is showing that the car is currently in (D)rive although the
gear
> selector leaver is in Park. If the car though it was in drive, then that
> would be a reason as to why the car won't start. Any help on how I can fix
> this problem would be massively appreciated.
Sounds a bit like a dead battery, TBH. A full charge is no indication of a
working unit.
If you can, try with another unit before replacement (not sure when Audi
started using a special shape to prevent reasonably-priced^H^H^H^H
dangerous-evil-immoral aftermarket batteries acting as replacements
If it's any help, I had a Mini w-a-y back that had everything electrical
working (including main beam), but required a bit of tin-foil stuffed into
the (self-tapping) battery terminal screw if you expected to /start/ the
thing.
Took a bit of explaining to the cops when things went wrong (naturally, only
at traffic lights and roundabouts [think four-way-stop] when Police were in
the area)
HTH
Hairy One Kenobi
Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this opinion do not necessarily
reflect the opinions of the highly-opinionated person expressing the opinion
in the first place. So there!
newsP4bb.2255$YO5.1756099@news3.news.adelphia.ne t...
> Heeeelp!
>
> Ok, so maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but my car is catatonic in my
> driveway, not dead mind you, it's unconscious, or at least that's how it
> feels. I just purchased the car through E-Bay (stop laughing in the back,
> this is serious) three days ago. I live in a place called Oxnard in S-Cal
> and I purchased it from a guy in Moreno Valley, that's about a 120 mile
> drive. Other than the AC unit not working, the only problem I found was
that
> the interior lights didn't work and the auto gear selector was a bit
> sluggish changing up or down in response to throttle or road input. All in
> all though the car seems to be in good condition. Yesterday morning I get
in
> the car to start it up and nothing.... The ignition lights come on, the
> battery is fully charged, but the there isn't the faintest noise from the
> engine bay. nothing, nada, not a squeak. I checked all of the fuses and
> nothing's blown. I checked the secondary relay panel and nothing seems to
> have come loose. I just don't understand it, the car has power and all of
> the ignition indicators light up but the engine is just dead. One little
> thing might be a bit of a clue however. The gear selection indicator on
the
> dashboard is showing that the car is currently in (D)rive although the
gear
> selector leaver is in Park. If the car though it was in drive, then that
> would be a reason as to why the car won't start. Any help on how I can fix
> this problem would be massively appreciated.
Sounds a bit like a dead battery, TBH. A full charge is no indication of a
working unit.
If you can, try with another unit before replacement (not sure when Audi
started using a special shape to prevent reasonably-priced^H^H^H^H
dangerous-evil-immoral aftermarket batteries acting as replacements
If it's any help, I had a Mini w-a-y back that had everything electrical
working (including main beam), but required a bit of tin-foil stuffed into
the (self-tapping) battery terminal screw if you expected to /start/ the
thing.
Took a bit of explaining to the cops when things went wrong (naturally, only
at traffic lights and roundabouts [think four-way-stop] when Police were in
the area)
HTH
Hairy One Kenobi
Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this opinion do not necessarily
reflect the opinions of the highly-opinionated person expressing the opinion
in the first place. So there!
#3
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: AAAAARRRRGGHH... My 94 Audi 90 is in a coma.....
Nope,
I tried. it's not a dead battery. It's something far more obscure(read
expensive), I just know it.
"Hairy One Kenobi" <abuse@[127.0.0.1]> wrote in message
newsj5bb.632$%G1.537@newsfep4-winn.server.ntli.net...
> "Paul Bryant" <Paul_bb@adelphia.net> wrote in message
> newsP4bb.2255$YO5.1756099@news3.news.adelphia.ne t...
> > Heeeelp!
> >
> > Ok, so maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but my car is catatonic in
my
> > driveway, not dead mind you, it's unconscious, or at least that's how it
> > feels. I just purchased the car through E-Bay (stop laughing in the
back,
> > this is serious) three days ago. I live in a place called Oxnard in
S-Cal
> > and I purchased it from a guy in Moreno Valley, that's about a 120 mile
> > drive. Other than the AC unit not working, the only problem I found was
> that
> > the interior lights didn't work and the auto gear selector was a bit
> > sluggish changing up or down in response to throttle or road input. All
in
> > all though the car seems to be in good condition. Yesterday morning I
get
> in
> > the car to start it up and nothing.... The ignition lights come on, the
> > battery is fully charged, but the there isn't the faintest noise from
the
> > engine bay. nothing, nada, not a squeak. I checked all of the fuses and
> > nothing's blown. I checked the secondary relay panel and nothing seems
to
> > have come loose. I just don't understand it, the car has power and all
of
> > the ignition indicators light up but the engine is just dead. One little
> > thing might be a bit of a clue however. The gear selection indicator on
> the
> > dashboard is showing that the car is currently in (D)rive although the
> gear
> > selector leaver is in Park. If the car though it was in drive, then that
> > would be a reason as to why the car won't start. Any help on how I can
fix
> > this problem would be massively appreciated.
>
> Sounds a bit like a dead battery, TBH. A full charge is no indication of a
> working unit.
>
> If you can, try with another unit before replacement (not sure when Audi
> started using a special shape to prevent reasonably-priced^H^H^H^H
> dangerous-evil-immoral aftermarket batteries acting as replacements
>
> If it's any help, I had a Mini w-a-y back that had everything electrical
> working (including main beam), but required a bit of tin-foil stuffed into
> the (self-tapping) battery terminal screw if you expected to /start/ the
> thing.
>
> Took a bit of explaining to the cops when things went wrong (naturally,
only
> at traffic lights and roundabouts [think four-way-stop] when Police were
in
> the area)
>
> HTH
>
> Hairy One Kenobi
>
> Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this opinion do not necessarily
> reflect the opinions of the highly-opinionated person expressing the
opinion
> in the first place. So there!
>
>
I tried. it's not a dead battery. It's something far more obscure(read
expensive), I just know it.
"Hairy One Kenobi" <abuse@[127.0.0.1]> wrote in message
newsj5bb.632$%G1.537@newsfep4-winn.server.ntli.net...
> "Paul Bryant" <Paul_bb@adelphia.net> wrote in message
> newsP4bb.2255$YO5.1756099@news3.news.adelphia.ne t...
> > Heeeelp!
> >
> > Ok, so maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but my car is catatonic in
my
> > driveway, not dead mind you, it's unconscious, or at least that's how it
> > feels. I just purchased the car through E-Bay (stop laughing in the
back,
> > this is serious) three days ago. I live in a place called Oxnard in
S-Cal
> > and I purchased it from a guy in Moreno Valley, that's about a 120 mile
> > drive. Other than the AC unit not working, the only problem I found was
> that
> > the interior lights didn't work and the auto gear selector was a bit
> > sluggish changing up or down in response to throttle or road input. All
in
> > all though the car seems to be in good condition. Yesterday morning I
get
> in
> > the car to start it up and nothing.... The ignition lights come on, the
> > battery is fully charged, but the there isn't the faintest noise from
the
> > engine bay. nothing, nada, not a squeak. I checked all of the fuses and
> > nothing's blown. I checked the secondary relay panel and nothing seems
to
> > have come loose. I just don't understand it, the car has power and all
of
> > the ignition indicators light up but the engine is just dead. One little
> > thing might be a bit of a clue however. The gear selection indicator on
> the
> > dashboard is showing that the car is currently in (D)rive although the
> gear
> > selector leaver is in Park. If the car though it was in drive, then that
> > would be a reason as to why the car won't start. Any help on how I can
fix
> > this problem would be massively appreciated.
>
> Sounds a bit like a dead battery, TBH. A full charge is no indication of a
> working unit.
>
> If you can, try with another unit before replacement (not sure when Audi
> started using a special shape to prevent reasonably-priced^H^H^H^H
> dangerous-evil-immoral aftermarket batteries acting as replacements
>
> If it's any help, I had a Mini w-a-y back that had everything electrical
> working (including main beam), but required a bit of tin-foil stuffed into
> the (self-tapping) battery terminal screw if you expected to /start/ the
> thing.
>
> Took a bit of explaining to the cops when things went wrong (naturally,
only
> at traffic lights and roundabouts [think four-way-stop] when Police were
in
> the area)
>
> HTH
>
> Hairy One Kenobi
>
> Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this opinion do not necessarily
> reflect the opinions of the highly-opinionated person expressing the
opinion
> in the first place. So there!
>
>
#4
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: AAAAARRRRGGHH... My 94 Audi 90 is in a coma.....
"Paul Bryant" wrote in message
> Heeeelp!
>
> Ok, so maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but my car is catatonic in my
> driveway, not dead mind you, it's unconscious, or at least that's how it
> feels. I just purchased the car through E-Bay (stop laughing in the back,
> this is serious) three days ago. I live in a place called Oxnard in S-Cal
> and I purchased it from a guy in Moreno Valley, that's about a 120 mile
> drive. Other than the AC unit not working, the only problem I found was
that
> the interior lights didn't work and the auto gear selector was a bit
> sluggish changing up or down in response to throttle or road input. All in
> all though the car seems to be in good condition. Yesterday morning I get
in
> the car to start it up and nothing.... The ignition lights come on, the
> battery is fully charged, but the there isn't the faintest noise from the
> engine bay. nothing, nada, not a squeak. I checked all of the fuses and
> nothing's blown. I checked the secondary relay panel and nothing seems to
> have come loose. I just don't understand it, the car has power and all of
> the ignition indicators light up but the engine is just dead. One little
> thing might be a bit of a clue however. The gear selection indicator on
the
> dashboard is showing that the car is currently in (D)rive although the
gear
> selector leaver is in Park. If the car though it was in drive, then that
> would be a reason as to why the car won't start. Any help on how I can fix
> this problem would be massively appreciated.
I'm willing to bet a few bucks that the car "thinks" it's in Drive and
therefore won't crank because there's a switch connected to the gear
selection indicator that breaks the circuit. I assume that the ingnition
will still be on so the car should run if the starter cranks. Have you tried
short-circuiting the starter relay directly to the starter motor with a
screwdriver or similar? (this is usually possible by connecting the thick
wire going directly from the battery with an outside connector on the
starter motor itself). Ensure that the gearbox is not _actually_ in drive
when doing so!
Rune
-98 A6 A/Q 2.8
#5
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: AAAAARRRRGGHH... My 94 Audi 90 is in a coma.....
Here's another thought. Can you move the selector into Neutral? The
starting circuit will also work in Neutral. You can confirm if it is in
Park by releasing the hand brake and trying to move the car. If it is in
Park, then you will only be able to rock it slightly back and forth. If it
moves, then it is in one of the other positions. My guess is that it will
be in Park and the switch at the shift lever/console is loose or it has had
too many baths from beverages and has the stupids.
--
Glenn R. Spence
"Rune Skigelstrand" <skigel@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Becbb.24282$os2.337796@news2.e.nsc.no...
>
> "Paul Bryant" wrote in message
>
> > Heeeelp!
> >
> > Ok, so maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but my car is catatonic in
my
> > driveway, not dead mind you, it's unconscious, or at least that's how it
> > feels. I just purchased the car through E-Bay (stop laughing in the
back,
> > this is serious) three days ago. I live in a place called Oxnard in
S-Cal
> > and I purchased it from a guy in Moreno Valley, that's about a 120 mile
> > drive. Other than the AC unit not working, the only problem I found was
> that
> > the interior lights didn't work and the auto gear selector was a bit
> > sluggish changing up or down in response to throttle or road input. All
in
> > all though the car seems to be in good condition. Yesterday morning I
get
> in
> > the car to start it up and nothing.... The ignition lights come on, the
> > battery is fully charged, but the there isn't the faintest noise from
the
> > engine bay. nothing, nada, not a squeak. I checked all of the fuses and
> > nothing's blown. I checked the secondary relay panel and nothing seems
to
> > have come loose. I just don't understand it, the car has power and all
of
> > the ignition indicators light up but the engine is just dead. One little
> > thing might be a bit of a clue however. The gear selection indicator on
> the
> > dashboard is showing that the car is currently in (D)rive although the
> gear
> > selector leaver is in Park. If the car though it was in drive, then that
> > would be a reason as to why the car won't start. Any help on how I can
fix
> > this problem would be massively appreciated.
>
> I'm willing to bet a few bucks that the car "thinks" it's in Drive and
> therefore won't crank because there's a switch connected to the gear
> selection indicator that breaks the circuit. I assume that the ingnition
> will still be on so the car should run if the starter cranks. Have you
tried
> short-circuiting the starter relay directly to the starter motor with a
> screwdriver or similar? (this is usually possible by connecting the thick
> wire going directly from the battery with an outside connector on the
> starter motor itself). Ensure that the gearbox is not _actually_ in drive
> when doing so!
>
> Rune
> -98 A6 A/Q 2.8
>
>
>
starting circuit will also work in Neutral. You can confirm if it is in
Park by releasing the hand brake and trying to move the car. If it is in
Park, then you will only be able to rock it slightly back and forth. If it
moves, then it is in one of the other positions. My guess is that it will
be in Park and the switch at the shift lever/console is loose or it has had
too many baths from beverages and has the stupids.
--
Glenn R. Spence
"Rune Skigelstrand" <skigel@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Becbb.24282$os2.337796@news2.e.nsc.no...
>
> "Paul Bryant" wrote in message
>
> > Heeeelp!
> >
> > Ok, so maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but my car is catatonic in
my
> > driveway, not dead mind you, it's unconscious, or at least that's how it
> > feels. I just purchased the car through E-Bay (stop laughing in the
back,
> > this is serious) three days ago. I live in a place called Oxnard in
S-Cal
> > and I purchased it from a guy in Moreno Valley, that's about a 120 mile
> > drive. Other than the AC unit not working, the only problem I found was
> that
> > the interior lights didn't work and the auto gear selector was a bit
> > sluggish changing up or down in response to throttle or road input. All
in
> > all though the car seems to be in good condition. Yesterday morning I
get
> in
> > the car to start it up and nothing.... The ignition lights come on, the
> > battery is fully charged, but the there isn't the faintest noise from
the
> > engine bay. nothing, nada, not a squeak. I checked all of the fuses and
> > nothing's blown. I checked the secondary relay panel and nothing seems
to
> > have come loose. I just don't understand it, the car has power and all
of
> > the ignition indicators light up but the engine is just dead. One little
> > thing might be a bit of a clue however. The gear selection indicator on
> the
> > dashboard is showing that the car is currently in (D)rive although the
> gear
> > selector leaver is in Park. If the car though it was in drive, then that
> > would be a reason as to why the car won't start. Any help on how I can
fix
> > this problem would be massively appreciated.
>
> I'm willing to bet a few bucks that the car "thinks" it's in Drive and
> therefore won't crank because there's a switch connected to the gear
> selection indicator that breaks the circuit. I assume that the ingnition
> will still be on so the car should run if the starter cranks. Have you
tried
> short-circuiting the starter relay directly to the starter motor with a
> screwdriver or similar? (this is usually possible by connecting the thick
> wire going directly from the battery with an outside connector on the
> starter motor itself). Ensure that the gearbox is not _actually_ in drive
> when doing so!
>
> Rune
> -98 A6 A/Q 2.8
>
>
>